Baha’i Perspectives

Archive for the tag 'parents'

A Note to my Parents, on Mother’s Day…

shadi May 11th, 2008

It is now eight whole months that I have left the United States for Kenya and have not seen my parents — the longest separation we have experienced from one another thus far. As an only child, I tend to think this must be harder for our family in particular. Perhaps if I had a sister or brother, my parents would not miss me quite so much, and maybe I would not have received the incredible amount of attention that I did growing up, and would find the separation not as painful… perhaps.

This time apart has caused much reflection on my part. Growing up in the States, there were many times that my parents and I did not see eye to eye. I, for instance, did not understand why the hour one came home on the weekends should matter or why one had to do certain household chores everyday. And being a strong-willed and opinionated teenager in my day, I made sure to voice my opposition and disappointment to my parents’ decrees quite often.

Going even further back into the past, I think about my parents’ decision to escape Iran in 1985 and how the main factor, as I was to learn in my adult years, was my father’s fear that I would be deprived of the educational opportunities given the restrictions placed on Baha’i children in Iran that exist to this day. My parents left their jobs, home, family, and every sense of familiarity and stability to leave Iran and seek a better environment to raise their daughter.

Abdu’l-Bahá, in His Tablets, not only calls attention to the responsibility of parents to educate all their children, but He also clearly specifies that the “training and culture of daughters is more necessary than that of sons”, for girls will one day be mothers, and mothers are the first educators of the new generation. If it is not possible, therefore, for a family to educate all the children, preference is to be accorded to daughters since, through educated mothers, the benefits of knowledge can be most effectively and rapidly diffused throughout society.

A decade has passed since my teenage years, and all I feel towards my parents is pure love and gratitude. Often I wonder whether I’ll be able to sufficiently thank them for all the sacrifice that they went through raising and nurturing me to become independent, confident, and instilling in me a great sense of self worth as a woman in the 21st century.

Also a father and mother endure the greatest troubles and hardships for their children… Therefore, the children, in return for this care and trouble, must show forth charity and beneficence…

(Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i World Faith, p. 329)

What a beautiful concept. To show forth ‘charity and beneficence’ in return for the service my parents have showered on me. The station of parents in the Baha’i Faith is incredibly lofty.

The fruits that best befit the tree of human life are trustworthiness and godliness, truthfulness and sincerity; but greater than all, after recognition of the unity of God, praised and glorified be He, is regard for the rights that are due to one’s parents. This teaching hath been mentioned in all the Books of God, and reaffirmed by the Most Exalted Pen. Consider that which the Merciful Lord hath revealed in the Qur’án, exalted are His words: “Worship ye God, join with Him no peer or likeness; and show forth kindliness and charity towards your parents…” Observe how loving-kindness to one’s parents hath been linked to recognition of the one true God!”

(Baha’u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 139)

And so, as I continue my work in Kenya, I strive daily to honor my parents through good work, compassion to others, and continuous self-reflection. I know that any fruits born from my efforts are a direct result and sign of the loving sacrifice and wisdom of my parents who, to this day, continue to guide and nurture me.