Baha’i Perspectives

shadi May 9th, 2009

Sometimes people are mean to me. Although there are times the meanness is warranted, more often than not, it feels completely random. The random meanness is what really gets to me. It can get my blood pressure pumping within a matter of minutes. It’s difficult for me to understand when someone is in a bad mood — a mood I did not help to create — and then proceeds to take that mood out on me.

Sometimes the interaction is in passing, I brood, never see the person again, and get over it. But sometimes, it becomes a repeated event with someone I have to interact with from time to time whether through my colleagues, acquaintances, friends, and family. It gets more difficult with each meeting to ignore the negative interactions and prevent giving my heart rate a workout. What to do?

For a long time, I simply got mean back! Not a good reaction, I know, but that’s unfortunately what came naturally. I would fight fire with fire, an eye for an eye type mentality. Why should I let this person take their mood out on me and get away with it? No, I’m going to dish it right back and see how they like it, it’s only fair! And yes, it also made me feel good, although for about ten to fifteen minutes… followed by a forgiveness prayer before bed.

A few years ago, I attended a monthly “socially conscious dinner party” hosted by my Baha’i brother, Bart, who invites people of diverse ethnic and religious backgrounds to his home for dinner and discussion. The topic he had chosen for that particular month was forgiveness. Bart typically does some research on his topic prior to the dinner party and puts together a page of quotes from various schools of thought on the chosen topic.

I still have the copy Bart put together for forgiveness. Although I won’t share all of the quotes in this blog, I do want to share two I still read on a weekly basis in my continued effort to change my behavior. The first quote reminds me of the great importance of compassion:

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The second quote explains how to view each and every person I come into contact with while living in this world:

Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness. The imperfect eye beholds imperfections. The eye that covers faults looks toward the Creator of souls.

~ Bahá’í Sacred Writings, Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92

I want the eye that covers faults. I know I cannot get it over night, or even over a few years. But ultimately, for me, it’s a selfish act. It is significantly less stressful both mentally and physically to forgive instantly rather than get angry, brood, and finally let go. It requires letting go of my ego and letting in the love.

Tags: forgiveness, love

• Baha'i Concepts , General Interest
• Comments(6)

nava December 22nd, 2008

“It is not an easy task to present minds obsessed with the conception of this world and its affairs as complete in itself rather than as an ante-room to a larger, freer life, a scene in which the dominant note [is] Eternity.”
~ Howard Colby Ives

What would it look like if we lived our lives at every moment aware of the fact that this world and everything in it was merely a prelude to a world much greater than this.  Rather than allowing that knowledge to dull us into nonchalance or trick us into thinking the prelude was inconsequential, we would live knowing that the prelude was absolutely crucial in dictating what was to come.

The prelude would define the rest of the play- the body and the characters, the scene titles, and even the very last period on the very last page of the final act.

How might we live if we understood that the prelude was not more important than the rest of the play, but was absolutely essential to its unfolding.

And what if we knew that this play would tell the greatest love story of all time.  Greater than Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra, Bella and Edward, Leili and Majnun…greater than the love felt by the most adoring, devoted, sacrificial father for his favorite daughter…and that the prelude’s purpose was to set forces in motion which would allow for the lover and the beloved to meet in the chamber of eternity.

The meeting of the two was inevitable.  But the prelude would determine how quickly it would happen.  The prelude would determine how long the lover would sigh in longing for her beloved.  How long she would feel consumed by the flame of separation from the one for whom every cell in her body existed, every beat of her heart resounded, nay, the reason why every atom in the universe was. For these two to meet, to love, to be near.

What if you knew that you were the lover in the prelude.  And that every decision you made, every thought, every action or inaction, bore direct influence on how near you would be to the greatest, most radiant, most resplendent, kind, loving, wonderful, unimaginably glorious being.

That every kind act, every selfless thought, every step taken to help ease someone else’s burden, to help improve the quality of another’s life, to help those other lovers living the prelude with you would draw you nearer to this object of adoration — and what if you knew that your time in the prelude was very, very fleeting, especially as compared with the dominant note of eternity, which the rest of the play would unfold — would you waste a single moment on anger? On jealousy?  On lethargy or inactivity?

How much time would you devote to leisure?  To pleasure pursuits that distracted you, perhaps even moved your further away from, the path that led to this all-glorious one?

If we lived every moment of our lives consciously aware that we were created to know and to love God, to worship and adore Him in our actions towards His other creatures, that in serving our fellow man, we drew nearer unto Him, that whether or not we felt it now, when we exited the ante room and entered the chamber of eternity, we would be totally aware of and consumed by our love for Him and that if we were remote from Him we would feel sorrow and regret more intense than any hellish brimstone or scalding fire could impose on us …and that our nearness or remoteness from Him would be in direct proportion to how we had spent our time in the ante room, or how we had penned our story in the prelude — I wonder how differently we would behave.  How different our entire atmosphere would be.  One directly affects the other, after all, and both help shape the kind of eternity that awaits us.  An eternity which we are already a part of, which is always as near to us as the air we inhale and exhale at every moment.

It is the duty of every seeker to bestir himself and strive to attain the shores of this ocean, so that he may, in proportion to the eagerness of his search and the efforts he hath exerted, partake of such benefits as have been pre-ordained in God’s irrevocable and hidden Tablets. If no one be willing to direct his steps towards its shores, if every one should fail to arise and find Him, can such a failure be said to have robbed this ocean of its power or to have lessened, to any degree, its treasures? …This most great, this fathomless and surging Ocean is near, astonishingly near, unto you. Behold it is closer to you than your life-vein! Swift as the twinkling of an eye ye can, if ye but wish it, reach and partake of this imperishable favor, this God-given grace, this incorruptible gift, this most potent and unspeakably glorious bounty.

~ Baha’u'llah

Tags: afterlife, freedom, love, service

• Baha'i Concepts , Inspiration
• Comments(5)

nava August 6th, 2008

I have breathed within thee a breath of My own spirit, that thou mayest be My lover. Why hast thou forsaken Me and sought a beloved other than Me? - Baha’u'llah

Tags: love

• Arts & Culture , Inspiration
• Comments(4)

nava June 15th, 2008

It seems that from culture to culture, no matter if you’re from Seychelles or France, Nova Scotia or the Yucatan, certain things are universally appealing. The pursuit of love, of a relationship, sitting perhaps atop the list of things people are seeking. Since the appearance of humans on this planet, one could safely guess, we have been trying to woo one another or convince one another that we are worthy of being wooed.

Sure, things have changed quite dramatically over the last century. In some parts of the world, it’s now almost even acceptable for the woman to chase the man, or at the very least, not play so hard to get.

But the word “play” is an interesting one when it comes to relationships. As divorce rates are on the rise, couples’ therapy sessions grow in popularity, and dating “How-to” guides stalk the shelves of many a book store, it seems we humans haven’t quite figured out this romantic love thing yet. Everybody wants it, but many are clueless about how to get it.

So, back to the word play. Why treat relationships like a game? Why treat one another falsely, manipulatively? Is this really the best way to lay a foundation with the person you could potentially build your life with? Perhaps part of it is human nature, hard-wired within us. Perhaps it’s just learned behavior. But either way, it doesn’t seem right. To understand the way to proceed before we are married, we need to understand the purpose of marriage, and the ideal form it should and can take.

Bahá’u'lláh explains that marriage was established because

…when He desired to manifest grace and beneficence to men, and set the world in order, He revealed observances and created laws; among them He established the law of marriage, made it as a fortress for well-being and salvation, and enjoined it upon us in that which was sent down out of the heaven of sanctity in His Most Holy Book.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá says the following:

Marriage, among the mass of the people, is a physical bond, and this union can only be temporary, since it is foredoomed to a physical separation at the close.

… however, marriage must be a union of the body and of the spirit as well, for here both husband and wife are aglow with the same wine, both are enamoured of the same matchless Face, both live and move through the same spirit, both are illumined by the same glory. This connection between them is a spiritual one, hence it is a bond that will abide forever. Likewise do they enjoy strong and lasting ties in the physical world as well, for if the marriage is based both on the spirit and the body, that union is a true one, hence it will endure. If, however, the bond is physical and nothing more, it is sure to be only temporary, and must inexorably end in separation.

In the Bahá’í Faith, the union between husband and wife is not viewed only as a form of companionship — though that is certainly part of it– nor is it just about someone who “makes me feel good”. It’s about service. It’s about a greater goal. Working towards something outside of yourselves as a couple, which brings you together as a couple. We see the bringing forth and raising up of children as one of the primary purposes of marriage.

So when you’re showing off your plumage, wooing one another, as it were, you have to bear in mind that this is the person you want to raise children with, spend all the worlds of God with.

What kind of partner is he/she? How well do you work together? Do you have similar goals and aspirations for your life? If they’re different, are they compatible?

Keeping these questions in mind, seeing the end in the beginning, we should then be able to re-orient and re-design this whole courtship process.

Rather than play games, why not be honest? Shouldn’t this process be a mature, thought-out one?

In addition to all of this, we live in a time that promotes and endorses frivolity in all of our human interactions. We are casual and superficial in our friendships. We are overly familiar with one another. Taking liberties with one another’s bodies and emotions. Blissfully unaware that in so doing, we establish bonds of intimacy that were never created to be broken. But inevitably these casual relationships fall apart, and eat at the vitals of human society, as we become less and less capable of being loyal to each other, truthful with one another. If we are somehow able to overcome those hurdles, there is always the matter of baggage. All of these past experiences which we drag into our new relationships, our marriages-how can we be impervious to them? Of course, they will manifest themselves in our interactions with another. We are, after all, creatures of habit. If we are habitually casual, promiscuous, unwilling to commit, how is marriage going to suddenly transform us? The people we are before we get married will certainly affect the marriage partners we become.

It’s a wonder that any marriages with these types of foundation last. But that doesn’t mean they exist in their highest form. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá explains that:

The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other.

If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they do other than this, they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing at every moment for death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm.

However, if we are able to thoughtfully, carefully, and truthfully investigate one another’s characters, and if we are able to maintain our focus on God, on service, on raising virtuous children, this is the type of family that may very well be ours:

Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given family, the affairs of that family are conducted; what progress the members of that family make, how they prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order, they enjoy comfort and tranquility, they are secure, their position is assured, they come to be envied by all. Such a family but addeth to its stature and its lasting honour, as day succeedeth day.

Tags: dating, love, marriage, relationships

• Baha'i Concepts , General Interest , Society
• Comments(5)

nadim March 26th, 2008

I can’t say enough about this short documentary. Beautiful. All I’ll do is quote the filmmakers’ description and leave you to watch it…

If you could go back and have an easier life, would you do it? If life had dealt you some of the hardest blows would you still feel like dancing? If you had no legs to dance with, would you still know how it feels? Having mastered the art of living in spirit more than in body, Renett Grové has transcended physical and emotional challenges the likes of which few of us can comprehend. And through it all Renett has praised her Creator, the One whose loving bondage has been her blissful freedom.

Thank you to Leyla for allowing me to post this video.

Tags: love

• General Interest , Inspiration , Principles in Action
• Comments(1)

geoffrey March 24th, 2008

The falcon preyeth not on a dead mouse.

(Baha’u'llah, The Seven Valleys)

The concept of motion is a principle that the Bahá’í Faith derives much energy from – not only in its intonations on personal spiritual development, but also in the implications it holds for the betterment of mankind as a whole. The above quotation is from a poem of Rumi, and is quoted in the Sacred Writings of the Bahá’í Faith, I reason, to explicate this point of movement.

Motion is often related and tied to the conceptions of love, service, creativity, perception and insight. We are counseled in the Bahá’í Writings to “seek neither rest nor composure” but to continually strive to achieve the betterment of the world and of ourselves. The “Falcon”, I think, can therefore encompass many different interpretations. It can take the form of a hardened will, a continually growing desire to motivate oneself in positive directions; there is the movement of the mind, to constantly strive towards creativity and innovation; and ultimately, I believe, it may come to us in the appearance of Divine assistance, which I believe, is inextricably linked to that of spiritual development and envelopes all other planes of existence.

Should there be ignited in thy heart the burning brand of the love of God, thou wouldst seek neither rest nor composure, neither laughter nor repose, but wouldst hasten to scale the highest summits in the realms of divine nearness, sanctity, and beauty.

(Baha’u'llah, Gems of Divine Mysteries, p. 13)

In light of the past few posts on issues pertaining to our world’s natural resources, education and moral development (and in truth, to the purpose of this blog), motion is the outward expression of love in the world that must needs be understood and harnessed. How many of the world’s problems today are due to negligence and apathy, estrangement and inattention? Examples, in this case, would be completely exhaustive and overwhelming, and are likewise being cataloged in this forum. The world cannot afford more time spent immobile.

This is my first post. As such, I make these initial statements general, but foundational nonetheless. My next one will focus on the concept of guilt.

Tags: development, love

• Baha'i Concepts , Inspiration , Society
• Comments(0)

iman February 12th, 2008

As people scurry around last minute to purchase chocolates and flowers for Valentine’s Day — and stationary stores run out of anything bearing even the slightest resemblance to everyone’s favourite pulmonary organ — let us take time out to reflect on the story of Mr and Mrs O’Connor.

This NY Times story caught my attention a couple of months ago. It is about former US Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, who watches as her husband battles with Alzheimer’s disease in an assisted-living center. In brief, Judge O’Connor watches as Mr. O’Connor falls for another woman, but far from feeling upset or remorseful about the situation, she is actually overjoyed to see him happy after so long. The article continues by discussing the nature of “old love” as opposed to romantic love, in the context of discovering love’s true meaning.

Abdu’l-Baha provides us with a beautiful summary of the four kinds of true love that exist:

What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers.

Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful.

In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love. When the heart of man is aglow with the flame of love, he is ready to sacrifice all — even his life. In the Gospel it is said God is love.

• There are four kinds of love. The first is the love that flows from God to man; it consists of the inexhaustible graces, the Divine effulgence and heavenly illumination. Through this love the world of being receives life. Through this love man is endowed with physical existence, until, through the breath of the Holy Spirit — this same love — he receives eternal life and becomes the image of the Living God. This love is the origin of all the love in the world of creation.

• The second is the love that flows from man to God. This is faith, attraction to the Divine, enkindlement, progress, entrance into the Kingdom of God, receiving the Bounties of God, illumination with the lights of the Kingdom. This love is the origin of all philanthropy; this love causes the hearts of men to reflect the rays of the Sun of Reality.

• The third is the love of God towards the Self or Identity of God. This is the transfiguration of His Beauty, the reflection of Himself in the mirror of His Creation. This is the reality of love, the Ancient Love, the Eternal Love. Through one ray of this Love all other love exists.

And finally, the unselfish kind of love demonstrated by Judge O’Connor towards her husband:

• The fourth is the love of man for man. The love which exists between the hearts of believers is prompted by the ideal of the unity of spirits. This love is attained through the knowledge of God, so that men see the Divine Love reflected in the heart. Each sees in the other the Beauty of God reflected in the soul, and finding this point of similarity, they are attracted to one another in love. This love will make all men the waves of one sea, this love will make them all the stars of one heaven and the fruits of one tree. This love will bring the realization of true accord, the foundation of real unity.

(Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 180)

Tags: love

• Baha'i Concepts , Inspiration , Society
• Comments(3)