Baha'i Perspectives

nooshin January 11th, 2010

You probably won’t be too surprised to read that only 71% of New Year’s resolutions are kept past the second week of the year, and only 46% past June.  Many people (myself included) don’t even bother to make resolutions, certain that they will be broken.  But according to a recent survey, those that actually make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t.  Perhaps the process of explicitly resolving to change something in your life, and taking concrete steps to do so, makes you more likely to succeed.

Self-awareness is crucial in deciding what needs change.  As spiritual beings, we need to constantly evaluate both our inner and outer lives, and try every day to do better than the day before.  In the Hidden Words, Bahá’u’lláh says:

O SON OF BEING! Bring thyself to account each day ere thou art summoned to a reckoning; for death, unheralded, shall come upon thee and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds.

I think the misconception we have is that bringing ourselves to account will necessarily be a depressing exercise, merely deepening our sense of inadequacy and feelings of guilt.  But it doesn’t have to be.  If we see our mistakes, not as failings, but as opportunites for learning and growth, self-evaluation can be empowering.  I think there is a sense of freedom from realizing that yes, I made a mistake, but I have the chance to fix it.  That every morning is a fresh start and that I am not defined by my past.

Also key is the issue of forgiveness.  Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves in order to be able to move on.  But more crucially, we have to show sincere repentance and ask forgiveness from God.  Bahá’u’lláh instructs us as follows:

..when the sinner findeth himself wholly detached and freed from all save God, he should beg forgiveness and pardon from Him. Confession of sins and transgressions before human beings is not permissible, as it hath never been nor will ever be conducive to divine forgiveness. Moreover such confession before people results in one’s humiliation and abasement, and God—exalted be His glory—wisheth not the humiliation of His servants. Verily He is the Compassionate, the Merciful. The sinner should, between himself and God, implore mercy from the Ocean of mercy, beg forgiveness from the Heaven of generosity…

But self-evaluation is not just about identifying mistakes.  We have to give ourselves credit where it’s due, and to build on our strengths.  Having a positive outlook can be so much more powerful than a negative one.  Which is why the following prayer from ‘Abdu’l-Bahá is one of my favourite ones:

O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.

O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.

Tags: forgiveness, new year, repentance

• Events , Society
• Comments(0)

shadi May 9th, 2009

Sometimes people are mean to me. Although there are times the meanness is warranted, more often than not, it feels completely random. The random meanness is what really gets to me. It can get my blood pressure pumping within a matter of minutes. It’s difficult for me to understand when someone is in a bad mood — a mood I did not help to create — and then proceeds to take that mood out on me.

Sometimes the interaction is in passing, I brood, never see the person again, and get over it. But sometimes, it becomes a repeated event with someone I have to interact with from time to time whether through my colleagues, acquaintances, friends, and family. It gets more difficult with each meeting to ignore the negative interactions and prevent giving my heart rate a workout. What to do?

For a long time, I simply got mean back! Not a good reaction, I know, but that’s unfortunately what came naturally. I would fight fire with fire, an eye for an eye type mentality. Why should I let this person take their mood out on me and get away with it? No, I’m going to dish it right back and see how they like it, it’s only fair! And yes, it also made me feel good, although for about ten to fifteen minutes… followed by a forgiveness prayer before bed.

A few years ago, I attended a monthly “socially conscious dinner party” hosted by my Baha’i brother, Bart, who invites people of diverse ethnic and religious backgrounds to his home for dinner and discussion. The topic he had chosen for that particular month was forgiveness. Bart typically does some research on his topic prior to the dinner party and puts together a page of quotes from various schools of thought on the chosen topic.

I still have the copy Bart put together for forgiveness. Although I won’t share all of the quotes in this blog, I do want to share two I still read on a weekly basis in my continued effort to change my behavior. The first quote reminds me of the great importance of compassion:

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The second quote explains how to view each and every person I come into contact with while living in this world:

Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness. The imperfect eye beholds imperfections. The eye that covers faults looks toward the Creator of souls.

~ Bahá’í Sacred Writings, Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92

I want the eye that covers faults. I know I cannot get it over night, or even over a few years. But ultimately, for me, it’s a selfish act. It is significantly less stressful both mentally and physically to forgive instantly rather than get angry, brood, and finally let go. It requires letting go of my ego and letting in the love.

Tags: forgiveness, love

• Baha'i Concepts , General Interest
• Comments(6)