After being an atheist my whole life, I decided, as part of a midlife crisis, that there had to be something out there that was better than nothing. Secular humanists say you have to make your own meaning, but when you’re faced with a gigantic universe that doesn’t care about you, it’s hard to do.

With that philosophy, you always wind up being alone. And it’s hard to find meaning when you’re alone. I used to believe in a totally mechanical universe. But if you create something from scratch, you have to start somewhere. Science can’t explain everything. I didn’t even go to the point of asking where the universe comes from.

So at age 54, atheism wasn’t nurturing my soul. I desperately needed to find something that would. The need lay in my stomach like a brick. It made me depressed. So I investigated various religions.

Read the rest of Ed LaBonte’s story here, on the United States Baha’i website.