Family – The Bedrock of Society
negin November 8th, 2008
The rainy late-October weather wasn’t doing much for my morning fatigue, so as I opened the Metro while sitting on the bus going to work, I was hoping to find some sunny news. Between lengthy articles speculating on the American elections and the devastating effects of the financial crisis, my eyes were caught by a column with the title “Give up marriages – bring in coexistence-contracts”.
The column was written by a Swedish journalist and TV producer and the point he was making was that the Swedish laws on marriage are outdated. Marriage – or coexistence – is an issue that only concerns the two (or however many) that are involved, and society should neither interfere nor try to regulate it.
As it was written in Swedish I unfortunately can’t share it with you, but I’m sure you have heard or read similar ideas, as they are not unusual in contemporary society.
There is much that can be said and discussed on this topic, not least from a Baha’i perspective. The thought that the article left me with for the rest of the day, which is what I wanted to scribble a few lines about, is whether this issue exclusively is the business of the individuals involved, or if there is more to it? And how does the significance of building healthy families and nurturing children fit into the discussion?
That marriage and family are interconnected goes without saying. For most people, getting married is a step to building a family and all statistics point towards that a strong marriage increases the chances of having a stable family. There are of course exceptions to this tendency and not everyone can be judged alike, but by and large it holds true.
…in the Baha’i Faith marriage, and family life, in particular, are both not only commendable, but constitute a social function of highest and indeed vital importance, as through them alone the human race is perpetuated.
The family is the very first social context that children are exposed to. That is where they learn love, respect, generosity, justice and other traits that characterize a civilized conduct. The family is also our most intimate circle, where thoughts and feelings are shared and where we feel secure and comfortable to be ourselves. There is thus no doubt that everything that happens in a family affects its members to a high degree; their conduct, health and general well being. Particularly the well being of children is at stake, and a justified question is: who is responsible for protecting their rights?
In the Baha’i teachings the family is regarded as the bedrock of the structure of human society, and its affairs can thus not be separated from the affairs of society as a whole. In striving to create unified and constructive communities, which is the purpose of the Baha’i Faith, the unity in its bedrock is naturally of great importance.
Baha’u'llah came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family.
Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given family, the affairs of that family are conducted; what progress the members of that family make, how they prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order, they enjoy comfort and tranquillity… Such a family but addeth to its stature and its lasting honour, as day succeedeth day…
Having this view on family, as a foundation stone in society and the setting where a future generation is reared, I’m inclined to disagree with the above-mentioned author. However, historically that does not mean that family structures have always been that “fortress for well being” that they potentially could be, and it is necessary for society to take on its responsibility in this aspect too. Apart from only upholding laws and regulations, society perhaps also needs to care for the education of children and youth in principles necessary for building stable and healthy families, such as respect, equality and justice.
Even though I didn’t find my sunny news, the article brought about something even more valuable, which is reflection and thought on this theme.
The fundamental purpose animating the Faith of God and His Religion is to safeguard the interests and promote the unity of the human race, and to foster the spirit of love and fellowship amongst men.
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- Comments(6)
I like your post, I have had many discussions on this topic, and I do find it not too easy to communicate a sufficient answer, since the views in a secular society is very much in confusion. I have found no serious studies on the subject (that is relevant to Swedish conditions), and my point of view though based on logic is also based on religious sources and hence not too often seen as credible. It seems it is still fashion to promote individualism even to such degree as to promote the superiority of children’s welfare in a non-marital relationship. Surely this is a direct consequence of a secular society, a path that is not to easily redirected. When faced with this it can be frustrating, but bearing in mind patterns behind the common scene is comforting. It seems that whatever course the world takes it can never deviate from its ordained path.
The world is in separation; we are seeing and will continue to see a division between the secular and religious society. Every day the division is growing clearer and with that also the effects of the absence of religious life. The secularized society finds no value in religious traditions and laws, thou its importance will be acknowledged as the division increases. We can promote its efficiency and necessity but most likely it will not be until the effect of it absence is clearly apparent that it will be recognized. I believe that the process to recognition is long and things will indeed get much worse, I would not be surprised if we’ll have “coexistence-contracts” in a not to remote future.
So then I ask myself what can I do as an individual trapped in between these two worlds, not just when it comes to matters concerning marriage, but family life such as mothers being the first teachers, and all other thoughts currently in opposition to the contemporary view. If not to live an as impeccable Bahá’í life as I possibly can, in order to shed light upon the growing contrasts between the secular and religious societies. If I start to compromise and try to live on both sides I am obscuring the process, as I veil the contrasts.
Today’s society, we understand, is emerging from an adolescent state into a state of maturity. One of the “qualities” of this stage in an individual life is operating with only part of your brain and thinking you “know it all” and are qualified to ignore parental wisdom and advice. Thankfully, it is a relatively short period of time and a stage, while often turbulent, signals the “coming of age”.
If this is a good analogy, my message in conversation is that our future and the future of the family will burn brightly.
I agree that this is a complicated matter, not the least in our society, with the “fashionable individualism”, as you put it Hannes. That makes it even more important for us to think and reflect and be sure that our standpoint is based on reason and logic, and not culture, tradition or blind faith. As you write, the best way to influence our surroundings is to implement our principles and “live as we learn”.
LizKauai, your analogy is a good one! I just hope that “coming of age” comes about soon, saving many children and youth much suffering!
What a great post! Much food for thought.
Thank you Clare
pls can i get an answer to this FAMILY IS THE BEDROCK OF ANY SOCIETY DISCUSS WITH RELEVENT EXAMPLE
thank you so much for your great job here
bye