Life on Edge: Step Back
nava October 12th, 2008
“In this world we are influenced by two sentiments, Joy and Pain.”
According to ‘Abdu’l-Baha, every human being, from monarch to peasant, wealthy to impoverished, from darkest brown to palest beige, is influenced by joy and pain. The second part seems obvious. We’ve all grieved. But often we forget the first. Especially in times of grief, how easily we forget that joy is frequently right around the bend.
BBC News recently published an article about fears of escalating suicide rates in Japan due to the economic downturn. The article was published on October 6, and the economic travail ransacking global markets has only gotten sharper. The collapse of some major institutions and fragile condition of others reminds us that even the most elite are vulnerable to loss, are subject to affliction.
Such is this mortal abode — a storehouse of afflictions and suffering. It is negligence that binds man to it for no comfort can be secured by any soul in this world, from monarch down to the least subject. If once it should offer man a sweet cup, a hundred bitter ones will follow it and such is the condition of this world. The wise man therefore does not attach himself to this mortal life and does not depend upon it; even at some moments he eagerly wishes death that he may thereby be freed from these sorrows and afflictions. Thus it is seen that some, under extreme pressure of anguish, have committed suicide.
Abdu’l-Baha
Yukio Shige spends his nights patrolling Tojimbo Cliffs, a popular suicide venue for many in Japan, hoping to persuade another would-be jumper to step back.
Life on the edge. It’s hard.
According to Yukio, many of the men he speaks to want someone to talk them out of their plan to end their lives. They just need someone to listen. Even a stranger will do, as demonstrated by the fact that Yukio has managed to persuade over a hundred fifty people to step back. The article explains that:
“For a lot of them it’s a cry for help. They are really hoping someone will stop them before they take their own lives.” Sometimes grown men burst into tears in front of him, he says. “I say to them ‘You must be in a lot of pain, tell me what happened’.”
Volumes could be written about the psychology involved in the decision to end one’s own life, but the reality is, life is hard. Life is painful and some do not believe themselves capable of withstanding it. It’s not true, though. We all have the capacity to endure whatever comes along our path. Perhaps if we really understood our purpose in life-a journey of growing closer to our Lord, our Beloved-we would not be perturbed by the pain that we know will inevitably visit, and revisit, us. As explained in the article about faith in times of crisis, tests, which often bring us sorrow, are the means through which the soil is ploughed. Tests are an important part of growth, a way of building and revealing our nobility of character.
Perhaps what is most tragic about suicide is the fact that it won’t actually end the suffering of the grieved person who committed it.
Whoever commits suicide endangers his soul, and will suffer spiritually as a result in the other worlds beyond.
(From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi)
More to the point, it simply does not work. Grief is not a state of the body, it is a condition of the soul. The soul is not destroyed even when its body is. ‘Abdu’l-Baha explains that:
The spirit is changeless, indestructible. The progress and development of the soul, the joy and sorrow of the soul, are independent of the physical body.
Thus it stands to reason that by killing our body, we’re destroying the wrong thing. The body manifests the pain, but is not the source of it. Killing it will not kill the grief. So now the sorrow for him who has ended his life only amasses. Continue Reading >
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- Comments(7)
Beautifully explained- and so timely!
Mahalo Nui Loa!
Very good post. It’s true, you never know what’s around the corner and though it may seem difficult to “keep the faith” when you are going through a very difficult time, and sometimes death feels like the only solution, its so important to see the end in the beginning and realize how fleeting this life is and that our troubles will pass and what awaits us in the next world is so much better…so we just need to stick it out…and for people who see others in pain its so important to reach out, smile, be kind…you never know whose life you might, inadvertently, save…
So true. As Baha’u'llah says:
“Be generous in your days of plenty, and be patient in the hour of loss. Adversity is followed by success and rejoicings follow woe.”
Thank you, Z. It’s hard to really wrap your mind around the fact that by simply asking someone if they’re okay, if they’re in pain and would like to talk about it, you could actually help save their lives. I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “Crash” but at the end of it, the narrator says something along the lines of how maybe people are crashing into each other in L.A. all the time just to have contact with each other. Strange how in such an overpopulated world, one can feel so alone and isolated. Perhaps if our interactions were less superficial and more purpose-driven, this would change, too.
yeah you touch upon a great point, how the world is overpopulated yet so many feel alone and isolated. It’s quite sad. Even more sad is how, even Bahai’s, who have the answer, have the divine teachings, can too feel alone and sad at times, or depressed if you would, imagine how those who don’t have the faith or belief that sadness will pass and that the next world holds something so much better than this world could ever offer and that tests and tribulations are “a healing medicine”, imagine how horrible it must be for those people…
Right now i am passing trough tuff times, it has been months of intense fisical and mental pain. The story is good makes us feel better, but we can’t just say that someone with depression needs to be patient enought for his soul to evolve, we know now days that depression is a treatable disease , and no one can judge what the other one is feeling. It is easy to say that everithing is ok when you’re not in intense pain. Do you know were did Shoghi Effendi went after knowng the passing of the Master? Let me tell you, the pain was so intense the firstly he fainted, and after some time he ad to go for the mountais in Switzerland because he was not amnaging the situation, so in a manner of speak he did his divinely inspired therapy. This story is just to show us that we are all humans and all pass trough great dificulties, some know how to manage it and some don’t. Can you blame the ones ho don’t and end their lives because there is simply too much inside of them, can anyone understand what really is happening inside the other? I guess that’s why the Divine Manifestations showed so much love for all that was sufering, and showed their utmost love and mercy. With this i am not saiyng that i am pro suicide, but i am pro understanding the feelings of people. And never forget that we may never think that we are saved, or are better than the other because we never know who in the moment of his death will rise and the ones that will fall. Another argument is that the mentally sick people have the soul intact, but the people that commit suicide don’t (according to the oppinion of the writer)! How can we tell the ones that no longer have a sane grip of reality and are going to criple them-selves? Again is simple to talk, but very hard to live trough it to tell, believe me i’m there.
Alex, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such difficult times right now. I don’t want to trivialize your pain by saying something trite like, it will pass, or everything happens for a reason. I know when one is in the center of the storm it can feel so hopeless and hard, and it can be very difficult to imagine that the storm will ever pass…but I also know that no matter what you’re going through, God never tests us beyond our capacity…so it is within your capacity to overcome this-whatever it may be…I hope that your pain will be eased and that you will take the appropriate steps (whether it be speaking to trusted ones, a counsellor) to overcome this and heal yourself. ‘Abdu-l-Baha assures us time and again that God wants us to be happy, to rejoice, and to find joy…and also we know that suffering doesn’t come to us by chance but serves to help us grow closer to God; our tests can be a stepping stone for us to learn from whatever area is challenging us and causing us our pain, and help us to be stronger, to rely more on God, to trust Him and to accept that we absolutely need His help. Anyway, I dont mean to sound preachy, I am sure you have already considered all of this yourself..but, I am thinking of you and rooting for you:)
In terms of the suicide aspect, I think the main point I was hoping to convey is that it is ineffective…most people, I would imagine, kill themselves because their pain is so severe that they cannot withstand it anymore…however the assumption is that suicide will end their pain. Yet our pain and our joy are both conditions of our soul, and suicide kills your body, not your soul; therefore, killing your body doesn’t kill your grief…there’s no judgment or condemnation here…just a logical approach to the matter…(which is totally incomplete and almost impossible to do as we know so little of life after death and the spiritual worlds, and yet our Creator tells us time and again that we must not kill ourselves, and as He ordains only what is best for us, it stands to reason that suicide will only harm us more, not help). Although it is true that God is merciful and kind, Shoghi Effendi explains that we must not impose upon His mercy…
Trust in God implies that we trust that all of His laws are for our benefit, and that if He says something is harmful to us, it is because that thing is actually harmful to us…so if He says suicide is NOT allowed, will not help us…then, can we doubt for even a moment that–no matter how intense our grief–we have to find a different approach?
On a final and personal note, I find in times of grief in my own life, the Fire Tablet and the Tablet of Ahmad really help… I wish you well..